allision

This is an abbey-fact: 90% of the guys I’ve dated are Capricorns. That means they were born between December 22 and January 22. I don’t know why these guys are drawn to me. I’ve given up trying to figure out why.

I’m spending waiting-time with two Capricorn guys. Capricorn 1 is an ex boyfriend who thinks it might be fun to recreate the magic *woohoo*. Capricorn 2 is a man-boy who thinks it might be fun to nail me. Neither of those seem fun to me. Don’t they know I’m a head case just looking for an excuse to forget to take my meds one day, causing all hell to break loose?

Allision is a violent striking (such as in a collision) with a fixed object.

So here I was minding my own business, taking my own sweet assed time in getting things done before I go back to the hometown when they decided to cross the threshold to my otherwise lacklustre after-bar life.

I was static; then they crashed into me. They’ve turned my life upside down. The one who gets to text first in the morning gets to spend the day with me. They say stuff that I can’t really understand (void for vagueness??), and they both think I’m a heartbeat away from tattooing their names to my ass.

This is a future cautionary tale. I know I should be keeping my distance from them but my curiosity is getting the better of me. Imma see what happens next (for the next three days until I leave anyway). I won’t be biting the bullet early. Besides, didn’t Chuck Bass say “sleeping with the enemy is hot”? Of course, I wouldn’t be sleeping with any of them, but you get what I mean.

Under the “Oregon Rule” the burden of proof is on the moving vessel to prove that the allision was the stationary object’s fault. I’m sooo going to prove them wrong.

pushing thirty

yummy yummy cake

i woke up this morning with 9 missed calls and 81 messages on my mobile.. sweet.. today is my 29th birthday.. funny, i don’t feel old.. no, not in denial.. wonder how many celebrations i’ll have this year for my birthday?? last year i had three.. just a lil sad cause my mom and my dad aren’t here to celebrate with me.. and i’m “sojourning” aka “stuck” here in manila.. yes seth, money is cold comfort in the absence of love, great that i have both!! now stop trying to pick a fight me, it’s my birthday!! i love being me.. thank you.. —————————————————————————————————————————– abbey thanks: mom and dada ♥ ninang (isa lang naman ninang ko) ♥ lai dumama ♥ chyle corpuz ♥ zm escara ♥ nesh♥ yen escara david ♥ pat del rosario ♥ melai caparas ♥ cherry del rosario ♥coreen nefalar ♥ di feeney ♥ jaja ruckenbrod ♥ paula domingo ♥ kenneth garlitos ♥ lawrence see ♥ annabelle tan ♥ ann cruz ♥ avel batungbacal ♥ erwin escara ♥ bernard longno ♥ emman pichay ♥ lee belmonte ♥ pao perez ♥ judith cruz ♥ RY yambao ♥ eric escara ♥ reigel prado ♥ tin dionela ♥ khat llanes ♥ annie llanes ♥ kathy franco ♥ don (ka chokaran sa starbucks) ♥ baristas ng sbux sa araneta-q ave ♥ ivy san diego ♥ ian berrey ♥ jasmine ruidera ♥ jimster samson ♥ lawrence rubio ♥ lawrence see ♥ joyce dimaisip ♥ bernard bandonell ♥ richmond miranda ♥ christian anzures ♥ ala noufal (we’ll enjoy the weather when i get back home, boy) ♥ kim caraan ♥ monica chua ♥ gerely rico ♥ kevin jovellanos ♥ farah romero ♥ irvin batista ♥ rhed ortiz ♥ lui ricardo-dizon ♥ marc guittap ♥ philip cabugao ♥ tin de guzman ♥ george pecore ♥ darlene arizobal ♥ pau tesorio ♥ G3 dorado ♥ grace bentor ♥ johnsen salazar ♥ justin (from emirates airlines) ♥ mitch babilonia ♥ hilda babilonia ♥ jake picache ♥ jocasta valle ♥ jay villaraza ♥ atty.g ♥ amelie rico ♥ seth malindao ♥ bob arevalo ♥ jr mercado ♥ jay foz ♥ chef addie ♥ ethel flores ♥ cacai medina ♥ janna & mon buendia ♥ grace bentor ♥ anoi monteza ♥ bambie pabilonia-evangelista ♥ yul tuozo ♥ eya gines-franciso ♥ and four or so people who greeted me a happy birthday via text and didn’t tell me who they are.. ♥ bitoy nazaret ♥ jordanne chan (who called me up long distance and talked with me for an hour, thanks ma!) ♥ tita libby (rj’s mom) ♥ lady de guzman ♥ maerille feeney ♥ erika lou kephalas ♥ jay ramos ♥ edward ocampo ♥ chats escara ♥ omar gabrieles ♥ okbit culata ♥ edwin calanog ♥ carly delfin ♥ jet salvana ♥ ricky morales ♥ loisa hadap ♥ jogs aquino ♥ celine lopez-faustino ♥ jonas pimentel ♥

ryan sia also sent me a text message but he didn’t greet me a happy birthday.. just told me that i can claim my acknowledgment receipt from the CBO so that i can claim my bar exam permit.. LAUGHTRIP!!

a genius bids farewell

i know i’ve posted this somewhere in this blog a few years back but i can’t seem to find it.. i prolly didn’t tag it or something.. anyhow, posting it again..

The Puppet

If for an instant God were to forget that I am a rag doll and gifted me with a piece of life, possibly I wouldn’t say all that I think, but rather I would think of all that I say. I would value things, not for their worth but for what they mean. I would sleep little, dream more, understanding that for each minute we close our eyes we lose sixty seconds of light. I would walk when others hold back, I would wake when others sleep. I would listen when others talk, and how I would enjoy a good chocolate ice cream!

If God were to give me a piece of life, I would dress simply, throw myself face first in the sun, baring not only my body but also my soul. My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hate on ice, and wait for the sun to show. Over the stars I would paint with a Van Gogh, dream a Benedetti poem, and a Serrat song would be the serenade I’d offer to the moon. With my tears I would water roses, to feel the pain of their thorns, and the red kiss of their petals.

My God, if I had a piece of life, I wouldn’t let a single day pass without telling people I love that I love them. I would convince each woman and each man that they are my favorites, and I would live in love with love. I would show men how very wrong they are to think that they cease to be in love when they grow old, not knowing that they grow old when they cease to be in love! To a child I shall give wings, but I shall let him learn to fly on his own. I would teach the old that death does not come with old age, but with forgetting. So much have I learned from you, oh men. I have learned that everyone wants to live on the peak of the mountain, without knowing that real happiness is in how it is scaled. I have learned that when a newborn child squeezes for the first time with his tiny fist his father’s finger, he has him trapped forever. I have learned that a man has the right to look down on another only when he has to help the other get to his feet. From you I have learned so many things, but in truth they won’t be of much use, for when I keep them within this suitcase, unhappily shall I be dying.

– Gabriel Garcia Marquez

the white knight and the dark prince

You know how everyone has an ex that won’t ever go away?? No matter how hard you try to shake them off, they’re there, peering over your shoulder, unknowingly, yet wittingly reeling you back in just when you thought you’re good. I hate it when that happens.

Lucky me, I have two, and everything is just eerily familiar.

The white knight is just that. He came into my life to save me from the dark prince. He had the kindest, noblest intentions and I screwed him over. He jilted my attempt at a sorry phone call, which I think is good, then he wouldn’t have the chance of seeing me while karma catches up on me. He was good for me and what we had was good thing. Except that we never fought. Not once. Which was what came to me as “what was wrong with the relationship”. It’s maddening that everyone in review asks me about him. I never really think about him. Just recently, when the dark prince reminded me that he existed and my personal demons rose again. Seriously, it’s karma catching up on me and I tried to ease my guilt with an attempt at a sorry phone call. He’s probably trying to avenge the death of his stupid self-esteem.

Now, the dark prince is the personification of everything I loathe and love in the world. He brings out the best and the worst in me. One of the reasons I’m not very fond of being in the Philippines is that here, almost everything reminds me of him, his family, or what we had together. There’s always a hark-back of everything I took for granted, gone in a New York minute. He used to hate me like crazy and then he did a 360. I’m confused. I keep on giving myself mental slaps when I’d try to figure out why. It only means one thing: it is his form of cold cruel revenge. Why else would he add me in facebook but to rub it in my face that he’s ridiculously happy with whomever he’s with, getting everything he wants, living in a goddamned palace where everyone lives to serve him and I’m just a miserable brat with my fake coping monologues? I’d like to think he’s coming from a good and helpful place trying to reach out to me, just not a good and helpful place for me. What else could he want?? He’s already won–EVERYTHING!!

I hate suffering like this. I hate having them both on my map. I wish I could fast forward to the part where I’m okay again or rewind back to part where I didn’t have to take one for the team.

I want to be okay, again. *curses*

the owner of this blog is under repair..

this blogger is going through a lost and lonely phase in her life.. she won’t be posting anything until the 2008 bar results come out..