Malus Animus and the Sweetest Taboo

I am so bad right now.. I am having evil thoughts. "Evil" thoughts about someone. Guess it’s all a matter of perspective. The thoughts aren’t exactly evil per se, but rather more of a moral/ethical question. I need to make a life changing decision and it’s a tug among the good, the bad, the ugly, and the deperately hopeless. If only it were as easy as falling in love. Now that’s something a little less complicated. You fall in, you fall out, you hate each other. The story of my life! Wish I could play the self-righteous, indignant kind of girl for once instead of being brutally frank and impulsive.

Still haven’t got a chimmy. I am so desparate for one! Looked everywhere, asked from everyone, it’s been a million lightyears and still "         ". It’s the only thing that’s supposed to make my third world existence bearable and I can’t even have that.

Went out with Lady and Donna the other night for drinks. It was nice seeing them. Oh yeah, wawa ryan. He figured in an automobile accident the same night I was enjoying cocktails with my friends. To think that I was pissed at him pa. Poor guy almost died. He was sweet enough to tell me that he thought about me at the moment of impact. Dunno if it’s true though. It sounds like a line from a sappy soap. He’s beginning to grow on me. He’s a Virgo; mia says that Virgos are loving, doting boyfriends. Might give him a chance. He’s not my boyfriend yet and he spoils me rotten. He just scares me though. The way he rides about town like Evil Knieval on his bike. Infanta_ride_102404_5 He’s like a male version of me — an accident waiting to happen! I love speed but i don’t go for cheap thrills. Now I’ve gotten myself in a fix by promising that I will take a spin with him on his bike. The sweetest taboo; only death could be more sweet! Hope he feels better soon.

For the record — we aren’t exclusively dating. I could still go out with whomsoever I fancy. Ryan’s really cool but I don’t think I’m upto speed with his kind of thrill. Was so worried about him the other day. Can’t imagine myself flipping out everytime he rides off on his bike.         

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