Red Herrings

This is my life’s philosophy (so far) filtering out. I am presently skating on thin ice.

SECTION I

(1) Don’t ever fall for a guy who happens to be a close friend.

(2) Never ever hook up with the person as described in Paragraph (1).

(3) When you abandon a lost cause — MEAN IT! As may be correlated to Paragraphs (1) and (2).

(4) Don’t flirt but don’t avoid.

(5) Don’t hide your feelings under the guise of well-honed wit!

(6) Don’t get too attached! Stick to being just friends.

(7) Don’t hitch a ride with him after a drinking binge and sit in the car while it’s parked smack in your doorstep for 30 minutes. (It’s the perfect ruse!)

(8) Don’t misconstrue ‘brotherly love’ for ‘like — like potential couple like’.

(9) Resist and desist even though it’s ever sooooo tempting.

(10) Forget the hype and be yourself. Yeah right! As if the mind set’s gonna sink in!

(11) Don’t think that you’re almost numb enough for a rebound relationship two-weeks after breaking up.

SECTION II

(1) Don’t be too pragmatic.

(2) Forget the hype. Be myself. Which one? As may be correlated to Sec. I, Par. 10.

(3) Show up when you say you would.

(4) Return law books you borrowed the break after the semester you’ve used them.

(5) Don’t make fun of other’s genetic quirks! Other than being utterly mean and positively hurtful, karma soon catches up on you — THREE-FOLD!

(6) Don’t spread yourself too far trying to clog your calendar with various commitments.

(7) Wait for that little rubberband in your head to snap before doing anything impulsive. Then maybe you wouldn’t blame youself for f**king up; you could always excuse yourself by saying that you tried but it was beyonf your control.

(7) Don’t abuse the doctrines of privileged communication and implied knowledge.

(8) The mitigating circumstance of passion and obfuscation requires all the elements for application.

(9) Keep in mind that even the brightest stars can’t shine forever.

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