I am the typical gen X-er and a prototype gen Y-er of a disaffected twenty-something generation. I am still in full control of my faculties but I can’t stop talking about my secret crush. I don’t think it’s even a secret anymore. Jr’s laughing smack in my face for liking him, Jay gives me his trademark subtle sneer whenever I gush about it, Lai is supportive and the others couldn’t care less. I hate the fact that there’s this girl who follows him like a pup and that he’d rather hang around with her than with me. We’re not exactly close but I would want to believe that we’ve bonded over the terms we’ve known each other.
I’m like the hindenburg of love. Every relationship I’ve evr been in ends in a disaster. I fall for guys with the witty word play, the inward and uninvolved attitude, the invisible protective barrier but not the total narcissist! It’s a beautiful irony. This guy isn’t any different. Sure, we’d greet each other in the hallway, joke and laugh in the 4th floor lib, flash a smile at each other in the classes we share, flirt during the rare times we’re out on a gimik; but I don’t think he’ll see more than ‘just abbey’. The ‘pare’, the ‘dude’, the ‘class beadle’, the ‘class president’, the ‘friend’, the ‘meantime girl’ in between girlfriends. Last thursday, I resolved that if I can’t have him, the "SHE" couldn’t have him either. Not that I’m too selfish, it’s just that SHE’s not the right kind of girl for him. I love him enough not to let him go through the kind of shit "SHE" would subject him to. They say that discretion is the better part of valour. I Disagree. The boy is MINE! Adversely quixotic perhaps, but it is one I would pursue with a vengeance!
I see red everytime I see her flirting with him. Makes me wonder who’s watching hell when she’s in school. Sometimes I feel guilty about being so catty with her but I just can’t help it. She’s always zealously perky when he’s around. Prancing around school like it’s "Sunshine Land". She makes me sick! I wish that for just one day, she’d forget to take her ‘happy’ pill, be disgustingly snippy, and get sucked into a parallel universe, never to be seen again!
I’m in limbo. Been so damned busy the past 2 weeks that I didn’t even get to ponder about my ‘wasted’ existence; until now! Slept the whole day yesterday. Was so worn out. Saturday was yet another lousy day. Attended class without reading a single word. Thought about studying for civ pro the night before, even went home early, but was too damned tired. I could have had some studying done if I skipped lunch when I got to school an hour before class, and didn’t waste valuable minutes goofing off with jr and jay. Felt sorry for jay though. We were called on to recite at the same time and we both went cold-turkey. Hehehe.. Labor law wasn’t so bad. Was called on to recite, i think i did fairly well. Jr was called on too. On the brighter side, we wouldn’t have to worry about being called on by Tuozo to recite again this term.
That’s about it for now.