Living in Between

Can’t believe another year has passed. It’s bar month once again. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it either. Just somewhat in between. One of the things ‘in between’ that’s ok to be in. Under other circumstances, I’d hate the ‘ in between’ kind of scene. I hate being held in limbo, I abhor suspended animation, and I can’t stand not knowing.. I need to get what I want. I’m the typical go-getter.

My mind’s been going places lately. To those of you in the know, ‘grrr’ is really getting to me! Not that the Bar Ops hasn’t been keeping me occupied, it’s just that i see a veil of threat when I see them together. Believe me, I see them a lot! I see them in the Library, the reading area, the hallway. I could try asking the guy, but then I know I’d never have the guts to. We aren’t "that" close! Anyhow, no matter how much I convince myself to stop obsessing about it, I just can’t. Don’t get me wrong, I do care for this guy and the savior (or maybe its the ego) in me just can’t fathom the fact that they’re gonna end up together or that he enjoys her company more than he does mine. I’ve asked around, they all say that I look waaay better than her, that they’d chose being with me in a heartbeat over her, and that she has issues!! SO WHY THE F*** doesn’t he notice me? If he does, it’s about some favor or some strings he needs me to pull for school!

Why don’t they just give me cyanide — it’d be quicker! Even with my ‘post nuclear’ state of mind, I can say that with this guy, chivalry is so dead! So why do I like him?? I feel displaced.

Better get some shut-eye. It’s been a whirlwind of a week and I haven’t gotten decent slumber time yet. Can’t believe I showed up at the bar site looking like I did this morning! I looked liked a train wreck. Wasn’t able to air dry my hair so I had to tie it up and use a thick band over my head so that my hair doesn’t frizz all over, had to sport sunglasses to hide the ”bags’ and the showstopper — i even forgot to bring lip balm!! Atty. Rico even sassed me about my many ear piercings. The only consolation I got was that I wasn’t the only one who looked like hell! Haha!! You win some you lose some. That’s one photo you’ll never see in my blog!!

TTFN!! =)


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