It’s an hour past noon and I have just woken up. Ever get the feeling the moment you open your eyes that today won’t be a good day? Well, had that feeling when I woke up. I got doused with reality last night. I love it when I’m slanted. My mind’s sharp and I could say anything that’s on my mind and I wouldn’t give squat what other people would think. Too bad, most of what transpires leaves me when I regain reason and I’m left with black and white video flashbacks/snippets. Trying to make sense out of it would be a futile attempt as trying to remember is a feat in itself. Anyhow, here’s the crass reality during last night’s lucid interval:
- Hindi totoo ang true love. No matter what everybody else says, it’s not real. It’s surreal. It exists in the movies. A friend of mine, who also happened to be a former mentor (ring a bell?? hehehe), claims that true love is utopian — it doesn’t exist but it is the ideal. That is should be seen from a perspective as “the person giving the love is truly in love”. I don’t want to delve into semantics but isn’t that in effect saying that that’s true love? Love that’s true = true love. I didn’t pursue the argument since he’s a philosopher and it would be inane to have to prove my point to him. Atleast we agree on one thing: Love is a state of mind.
- Hapiness is a myth.
- Having money doesn’t make you happy. Sometimes, being broke is better. You don’t have the time to obsess about the more trifling stuff in life coz you’re too busy obsessing about coming across the cash.
- You can’t stop yourself from falling in love.
- Here in the Philippines, even if they classify a movie to be of the romantic comedy genre, it’s actually sci-fi/fantasy. It defies science and reason.
To alleviate our current attack of stir-craziness, my friends and I have been constantly exchanging text messages (thanks to Globe’s text unlimited promo). I have developed an attachment to my mobile phone. I’m beginning to believe that it is already an appendage and I’m entertaining the thought that a second right thumb might be a blessing since I’m wearing out the one I have now.
We are so into it, we exchange messages even during class. Most times, it’s about how lousy our love lives are, and occasionally, plotting evil schemes to get back at our ‘enemies’. Lately, it’s been about our very own MCLE (Mandatory Continuing Love Education). Annoi of course is the lecturer, since she’s the most neurotic and has had the most experience. Me, I’m just a newbie. Besides, I’ve been burnt so many times that in the vast wasteland of my mind, I have stopped believing in true love. I’m still waiting for it. Or maybe it’s just that I am so clueless about it that I wouldn’t know what is even if it hit me in the face. *devilish grin* I really need education about love. *praying for spontaneous enlightenment*.
So far, this is what I know about love >> It’s not rapacious. It’s not Survivor (the Reality TV show). Neither one is supposed to outwit or outlast the other. No one has to bilk the other. No one has to be jilted. It’s a lot of mediocre stuff. Vague huh?? Goes to show how much of it I know.
I’m waiting for the accursed cretin who’d sweep me off my feet; who’d give me that foot-popping-kiss; who’d put up with my vicarious ventings and appreciate my whipsmarts; who’d tell me he wants me in a way that he’s never going want anybody else; who’d be faithful and truthful and loyal.
Fuck it!!! Either I’m a complete loser or the heat is making me stupid.. again!