*This is an article I read in
the Bonifacio Law Journal, the official publication of the Andres Bonifacio
College of Law in Dipolog City. I came across the copy in my friend’s law
office. His dad happens to be the dean of the said law school. Thanks Ron for
being kind enough to lend it to me and for reminding me that it’s your only copy.
I’ll return it asap.
- South Carolina: A man walked into a local
police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk
sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold
it to him be arrested immediately.
- Indiana: A man walked up to a cashier at a
grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier
handed him the loot, he fled leaving his wallet on the counter.
- Location unknown: A man went into a drug store
pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a hefty-bag face mask over
his head – and realized that he’d forgotten to cut eye holes in the mask.
- Location unknown: A man successfully broke
into a bank after hours and stole – are you ready for this? – the bank’s
video camera, while it was recording remotely. (That is, the videotape
recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn’t get the videotape
of himself stealing the camera. The police, however, did.
- North Carolina: A man successfully broke into
a bank’s basement through a street-level window, cutting himself pretty
badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the
money from where he was, (2) he could not climb back out the window
through which he came, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So, he
located a phone and dialed “911” for help.
- Location unknown: A man walked into a Circle-K
(a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash register, the man pulled
a gun and asked for all the cash, which the clerk promptly provided. The
man took the cash and fled—leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total
amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15.
- Vernon, British Columbia: Raymond Cuthbert
dropped by a drug store to say that he and his accomplice would be back in
30mins to rob the place. On time for their appointment, they were arrested
by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
- Sao Paulo, Brazil: Psychiatrist Oscar
Dominguez was listening to a patient talk about her sex life when he
pulled out a gun and shot her to death. As he explained to the court, “ I
just couldn’t take those nut cases anymore.”
- Rouen, France: Moments after robbing a bank,
Jules Duprer jumped into a car, shouting, “Get away quick, before the cops
come.” He failed to notice that the car he was counting on to sprint him
away to safety was a police car.