crying over spilt milk

You write about what you know.
This is what I know best. Lai inspired me to write this, my muse for this particular
entry. 

They say that the human heart is
incredibly resilient. It can withstand tremendous pain and still find it in itself
to forgive. If you’ve gone through what I have because of love you’d understand
why I hate love and its nefarious sidekick – broken heart.

I’m tired of taking the
love-alikes for a spin. My heart certainly can’t take anymore. I have waited
and waited, and waiting still for “the one”. I’ve waited forever, and still
___________. It’s similar to the wait of the sci-fi geeks for the mother ship
to come and beam them up. To them, it’d be the most glorious thing, but for the
non-believers, such as myself, it’s stir craziness. I have to give it to them
though; that’s solid rock faith. We all need something to believe in. To each
his own form of redemption. I don’t go to church a lot. I’m good once I’ve
attained my visit quota – 5 times a year. It’s not because I lack faith, I just
think that not attending Sunday service doesn’t make me any more Christian than
attending and putting the doctrines
into actual practice is more time-worthy than pondering about an omnipotent
being.

I’m not an ingrate. I thank God
plenty. Like when I’ve had a meal or a satisfying endeavor has paid off and a
lot more other things. Being only human, I question His wisdom whenever
something bad happens to me. Or in this case, why the right guy hasn’t come to
sweep me off my feet. I don’t even know why I’m affected, It’s just love. I
have a gazillion things to worry about other than love. I feel so bad, God
could smite me, and I’d be happy I’m finally dead! There are more important things
to put to right first, like hunger, and war, and the inequality between the
rich and the poor. Oh the injustice. There are things more important than love.
Or are there?

Love is what makes the world go
round baby!!  And so like the movers and
shakers of this world, alive, dead, fictitious or otherwise, I want in on the
action!

So now, I’m crying over spilt
milk. The love that I have, had, lost, and would still lose!

Dammit!! I’m doomed to be a
spinster.

This message was sent to me just
as I am wrapping up this entry. How timely.

“Hearts will never be practical
until they are made unbreakable.”

     — Wizard of Oz

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