I have a secret obsession. I am obsessed with finding my one true love. Doubtless,
it is the reason why it has remained so elusive. The uncontrollable persistence
of this idea is not peculiar to me. I’ve heard about it a million times, read
about it in books, and seen it on the movies. Most girls I know distress over


I’ve always duped my psyche to the fact that it doesn’t exist. A result of
the various times and ingenious ways my heart has been broken. I am severely
jaded; in the truest sense that I am tired and exhausted from falling in love,
breaking-up, and moving on. Paradoxically, I know deep down it is the absolute
truth. Don’t ask me how I know. I just do. Kingdoms have fallen and people have
died in its guise.


Twenty six years, a month and exactly two weeks today after having been
born, I am still absolutely clueless. All I have so far are crushes, flings and
the true-love-alikes.


To the hopefuls in the Central Bar Ops and Logistics Team of FEU, they are
just moments; fleeting and specific instances meant to be enjoyed briefly.


Roselyn and Annoi, all things being equally jaded, have formulated two bar-month
dogmas, FEU Law style.


The Doctrine of Unspoken Language of Love:

Typical FEU IL set-up, Pseudo-BF-GF. Girl
loves boy, boy loves girl. Neither of them is doing anything about it. They’re
always together and inseparable in such a way that seeing one without the other
impairs the essence they represent as a whole. Not a fling, not together,
probably not true love, but like I’ve already said, neither is doing anything
about it. The love is so painfully obvious to everybody else but them.


The Doctrine of Deliciously Romantic Evening:

Involves four instances: (1) Boy is taken, girl isn’t;
(2) Girl is taken, boy isn’t; (3) boy and girl are both taken; (4) both are

Whichever of the above applies, it can only be reduced
to this: whatever magic or spark existed between them, it was only for a
particular moment or evening. After that, it’s back to reality, life goes on,
and it is as if nothing happened. Casual-Casualan lang.


If you’ve ever crushed on someone from school, or work, or wherever, you
know you have fallen prey to either of the two.


I am anxiously awaiting next bar Saturday’s incidents. Until then!


3 thoughts on “jadedness

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