from pleasantly neurotic to troubledly annoyed

i actually had two paragraphs written for this particular post. then I
deleted the whole thing and now i can’t retrieve it. *sigh*. foreboding
septemBAR is not pleasant. it was more exciting when we weren’t the
ones to take the darned exam. BAROPS was so much more fun.

if massive overdose on coffee doesn’t kill me before the bar, anxiety will..

roselyn
asked me to post previous blog posts i had written during the barops
which we considered to be the most fun and most scandalous. am posting
this for you mare. have fun reminiscing. *wink*

________________________________________________________________________________

Insouciant-me

Sunday, September 03, 2006  | Permalink | Comments (2)

 

Yesterday
kicked off what would be the most grueling four Sundays a law student
would ever have to deal with – the bar exams. If you are fated to be
taking the exams, it is the valediction of four years of reading
voluminous texts, demoralizing recitations, and unnerving tests.
However, if you are in the service of ex-school mates who will be
taking them, then for you, it means sacrificing four Saturdays and
Sundays working for the bar operations. You could be in it for your own
self-serving means (i.e.: you need the extra credit) or purely out of
the goodness of your heart. Which ever way, you know you’re doing a
good thing.

 

 

I
love the bar month. Sure, it’s a dog-tiring kind of month but I’m not
complaining. I am still searching for academic truth. Loosely
translated: I am flunking school.  What I lack for in school spirit
and academic excellence during the year, I make up for during the bar
operations. The only thing I hate about it is when people are so bored
at the bar sites they start gossiping about other people, ex-classmates
or batchmates they happen upon crowded Taft Avenue. 

 

 

Well,
we were so bored, that was exactly what we did. *haha* I don’t feel
guilty at all. I’m sure they gossip about me all the time too. I know
for a fact that there is someone I frequently hang out in school with
who’s been tattling fallacious statements about me. I’ll deal with you
when I feel that you are worthy of the time I’m going to waste over
you.

 

 

I’ve
been told once that I am a walking controversy; from the stunts and
schemes I pull to get a free cut for our class to the people with whom
I am associated with or the odious comments I eventually get wind of. I
am not popular. I am not the school’s “Paris Freaking Hilton”. I am not
“the girl you’d want to take home to your momma”. I couldn’t care less.
I am easily bored and this  is boring me. I guess that lends substance
to the saying that only boring people are bored *thanks madz hehe*.

 

  Imma sign off now and catch some shut eye.

_____________________________________________________________________________

jadedness

Monday, September 11, 2006  | Permalink | Comments (3)

I
have a secret obsession. I am obsessed with finding my one true love.
Doubtless, it is the reason why it has remained so elusive. The
uncontrollable persistence of this idea is not peculiar to me. I’ve
heard about it a million times, read about it in books, and seen it on
the movies. Most girls I know distress over it.

 

 

 

I’ve
always duped my psyche to the fact that it doesn’t exist. A result of
the various times and ingenious ways my heart has been broken. I am
severely jaded; in the truest sense that I am tired and exhausted from
falling in love, breaking-up, and moving on. Paradoxically, I know deep
down it is the absolute truth. Don’t ask me how I know. I just do.
Kingdoms have fallen and people have died in its guise.

 

 

 

Twenty
six years, a month and exactly two weeks today after having been born,
I am still absolutely clueless. All I have so far are crushes, flings
and the true-love-alikes.

 

 

 

To
the hopefuls in the Central Bar Ops and Logistics Team of FEU, they are
just moments; fleeting and specific instances meant to be enjoyed
briefly.

 

 

 

Roselyn and Annoi, all things being equally jaded, have formulated two bar-month dogmas, FEU Law style.

 

 

 

The Doctrine of Unspoken Language of Love:    

 

Typical FEU
IL set-up, Pseudo-BF-GF. Girl loves boy, boy loves girl. Neither of
them is doing anything about it. They’re always together and
inseparable in such a way that seeing one without the other impairs the
essence they represent as a whole. Not a fling, not together, probably
not true love, but like I’ve already said, neither is doing anything
about it. The love is so painfully obvious to everybody else but them.

   

 

 

The Doctrine of Deliciously Romantic Evening:

Involves
four instances: (1) Boy is taken, girl isn’t; (2) Girl is taken, boy
isn’t; (3) boy and girl are both taken; (4) both are single.

Whichever
of the above applies, it can only be reduced to this: whatever magic or
spark existed between them, it was only for a particular moment or
evening. After that, it’s back to reality, life goes on, and it is as
if nothing happened. Casual-Casualan lang. 

 

 

 

If you’ve ever crushed on someone from school, or work, or wherever, you know you have fallen prey to either of the two.

 

 

 

I am anxiously awaiting next bar Saturday’s incidents. Until then!

   

bLurbs

Thursday, September 14, 2006  | Permalink | Comments (4)                                                                              

I

 

First
things first: The Tax Law Bar exam held last Sunday was the first time
ever that had been extended for a full hour. Or so I’ve heard. Rumour
also has it that the exam made a guy barrister sob; and there’s this
one story of a guy from a reputable law school who hysterically broke
down in the exam room after reading the first two questions.

 

But
of course, nothing would beat the one about the guy who drank a bottle
of black ink after mistaking it for water; and about that guy who
definitely had a meltdown and ate his questionnaire up a few years back.

 

Fact or fiction. Truth or myth. It is yet to be debunked.

                                                                              

II

 

Addendum to the now infamous IL Doctrines. There is now a third one.

   

The Doctrine of Uncontrollable Smile

       This
doctrine is probably the most tell-tale of all. The "crush-er" can’t
help but smile whenever the "crush-ee" appears or even when his/her
name is mentioned. It is usually coupled with a light yet noticeable
flush to the cheeks, or the ears, in some people, and a goofy
starstruck look. In the case of one girl I personally know, she gets
all giddy, tells her peers about it, then posts a blog about the
"chance encounter".

                                                                              

III

 

Got
a comment asking me what true love is. This is not an attempt to answer
something I have absolutely (read: ab-SOY-loot-lee.. haha.. classamtes
na nakaka relate, LAFFTRIP! GOIN BUYIYIT!!) no idea about.

 

I
can’t answer the question. It is not something you figure out an
equation for and you get a definite answer. It is like the debate
between the paradox of the chicken and the egg; or man’s search for the
meaning of life. It’s not about wisdom or enlightenment.  I think it
has more to do with faith. I am not going to try to answer something
that even the greatest philosophers couldn’t ping at.

 

A friend of mine explains true love as love that is true. As in, the person giving the love is truly in love.

 

This
is what true love is for me: It is like all your life you walk around
like a zombie; you’re just empty, cavernous, degenerative; and then you
find THE one, and you’re not empty anymore.

 

I got that from a movie I can’t remember the title of.

 

Gotta go now.

In Re: Llanes [923 SCRA 451. GR No. L-20060923]

Wednesday, September 27, 2006  | Permalink | Comments (1)

If
I could only do cartwheels, I would. My head’s been up in the clouds
since Saturday and almost everyone in the IL knows why. I must have
shown everyone I know, and a few freshies I don’t, THE photo.

 

There’s
something about crushing on an ex prof. Especially if that ex prof
happens to have topped the bar. This guy knows how it is to feel to be
number one. Sure he looks geeky, but so what, I can be geeky too if I
want to. It’s just that I choose not to. It’s not love. It can’t be,
because I only like him when I see him. It’s borderline crush-pseudo
love. The operative word being "pseudo".

 

What I have with him
gives me that extra spring when I’m walking in the IL corridors. A buzz
to my otherwise boring existence and that kick (kilig factor perhaps)
that is lacking in my life. In a way he inspires me. For sure, I always
look forward to my Saturday classes in the hope of bumping into him and
making small talk.

 

You’d think I’d be my usual cool, calm, and
collected self when I "run" into him. I’m  the exact opposite. Short
circuited synapses result to babbling, flushed cheeks, weak knees, and
an uncontrollable urge to kick myself for acting like a total spaz
after the encounter.

 

He’s not tall, not dark, not handsome to
most. The fact that I have a thing for him rebuts all presumptions that
I have a thing for cute guys and establishes that I gravitate to smart
minds. I’m not as shallow pala as  others thought.

 

Anyhow,
shallow or not, In Re: Llanes [923 SCRA 451. GR No. L-20060923] lends
substance to the Doctrine of Uncontrollable Smile and the Doctrine of a
Deliciously Romantic Evening. All requisites taken into consideration.
The occurrence being somewhat delicious, possibly romantic (depending
on how you look at it), and it was definitely still evening.

 

This supersedes the earlier case of Monteza vs. Capco (citation unknown).

 

Post Script:
No
offense meant to the girl who doesn’t love the rain but adamantly still
believes in true love. Btw, I’m still searching. I don’t think t’s THE
one. I dunno. Let’s devote a lengthy phone conversation for that when
school lets out.

To those who can’t relate, please see my previous posts regarding the "doctrines".

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