allision

stop or goThis is an abbey-fact: 90% of the guys I’ve dated are Capricorns. That means they were born between December 22 and January 22. I don’t know why these guys are drawn to me. I’ve given up trying to figure out why.

I’m spending waiting-time with two Capricorn guys. Capricorn 1 is an ex boyfriend who thinks it might be fun to recreate the magic *woohoo*. Capricorn 2 is a man-boy who thinks it might be fun to nail me. Neither of those seem fun to me. Don’t they know I’m a head case just looking for an excuse to forget to take my meds one day, causing all hell to break loose?

Allision is a violent striking (such as in a collision) with a fixed object.

So here I was minding my own business, taking my own sweet assed time in getting things done before I go back to the hometown when they decided to cross the threshold to my otherwise lacklustre after-bar life.

I was static; then they crashed into me. They’ve turned my life upside down. The one who gets to text first in the morning gets to spend the day with me. They say stuff that I can’t really understand (void for vagueness??), and they both think I’m a heartbeat away from tattooing their names to my ass.

This is a future cautionary tale. I know I should be keeping my distance from them but my curiosity is getting the better of me. Imma see what happens next (for the next three days until I leave anyway). I won’t be biting the bullet early. Besides, didn’t Chuck Bass say “sleeping with the enemy is hot”? Of course, I wouldn’t be sleeping with any of them, but you get what I mean.

Under the “Oregon Rule” the burden of proof is on the moving vessel to prove that the allision was the stationary object’s fault. I’m sooo going to prove them wrong.

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