went to work on monday morning half expecting pat to buzz in or sms me asking if i made it to the flag ceremony and tease me if i said i didn’t.. there were pleadings due and legal opinions to be written but all i wanted to do was write “josh” a letter..
I still can’t get over the fact that you’re gone. it’s all so sudden. weren’t we just chatting on facebook about this girl I wanted you to date? We were planning on so many other fun stuff to do, like watch the new harry potter movie and diss how “bitin” we are because it wasn’t how it was in the book.
No more venti starbucks, no more “pa-hugs”, no more “slut” jokes, no more mc flurries sa drive through window ng macdo kahit naglalakad lang. I wouldn’t have the chance to complain how your pata is so heavy and how you woke me up with your superrrrrr (as how only you can say it) loud snoring during siesta, while we’re fighting for space on the bedbug riddled futon on the second floor of the house in mauban. I won’t be able to tease you about the girls you’re crushing on, the girls you’re dating, and how lame your pick-up lines are. No more open ground concerts with you screaming “I LOVE YOU RAFFY” at the top of your lungs. no more kwentos about the poveda girls and the bakal boys.
I didn’t really think I’d miss you this much. I’ve taken your presence and affection for granted. I remember, you were the family baby when I first moved to this country. We had so much fun having you climb all over us, staring at us with your wide round eyes, and your drool dripping.
Then you grew up and started dreaming dreams. You said you wanted to be like harry potter and you started having your hair cut like his and had ate buy you eyeglasses, also the same as his. You grew up some more and started dreaming big, like being a billionaire like travie mccoy, and being a doctor and setting up shop with iza.
You are the kindest and nicest 15 year old I know. Ate cherry and kuya ricky are very, very lucky to have had you. I know how much you love them. You used to tell me how you never tell your mom how much you really love her but sort of do when you praise her yummy cooking; and I read that essay you wrote for school telling how you love your dad and how you understand him. That was beautiful writing, but more than that, I knew it came from your heart. It is also very very sad that they had to lose you. I can only imagine the pain they are going through right now.
You were really funny. I’d never get over how you told us about how your “it” would start growing “stronger” when you were 9 years old whenever you’d see a pretty girl. Haha. More recently, how you and tenten chased each other for that $1 you allegedly asked him to hold. The room was such a mess (you broke the bed pa ata cause you jumped all over it) and you were both making so much noise, ninang linda had to go to the room and tell you to just let ten keep the darned dollar bill. we’ve had so many misadventures-under-the-guise-of-adventures, it’d be a novel.
I loved your healthy appetite. I love your taste in music and your music collection. I love how easy it is for you to give your things away when asked. I love how you didn’t really mind getting picked on by kuya boyet. Remember when I used to make you cry all the time? LOL. But of all the things I love about you, I love your love for books the most. Like me, you were a serious bibliophile. You devoured books like ate’s baked spag. It’s nice to have someone in the family I could talk to about books and I was glad (more like ecstatic yun diba?) when I saw you reading Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being A Wallflower. That was the last book I saw you read. It’s one of my favorites.
You used to say that nobody liked you. were you even sure? I’ve been reading your facebook page a lot these days. It seems that everybody liked you. Everyone loves you pat; they even made a “like” page for you. They say you are the best. Friends and family are flooding your profile page with messages of love and of how sad they are of your passing. We are too. I’m super sad. Patrick my dear nephew, you are really, truly, loved!
Who would I camwhore with during awkard family moments? Who would ym me and buzz me like crazy asking me “chick advice” when I’m out of the country? Who would tease me about my false lashes? Who would I tell my bloopers to? Who would be our “big boy ring bearer” when ben and I finally get married? Who will I guffaw with? No one. Because no one can replace you. *sigh*
Thank you for being such a wonderful nephew. To quote your last twitter DM: I shall follow you back”. But not any time soon.
Stewart Alsop said “A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist”. Everybody dies, sure, but did you really have to go so soon? So with a heavy heart and a pocketful of tears, I’m saying “until I follow u pat del”.
You, my drooly drooly boy, are STELLAR!! ♥♥♥ I am terribly missing you.
love, love, love,
PS: i bet you were watching me from heaven yesterday sa wake mo. i bet my pwet you were shit scared and happy at the same time when ate melay introduced kira.. whooohh.. hehe.. until next time drooly drooly.. *hugs*